This week has been a wonderful week of being close to the missionaries by having a sisters’ conference on Wednesday and visiting with the missionaries while they were being interviewed by the President on Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Whew!!!
Monday, Sister Barker and I went to Costco and a few other places to get food and supplies for the sisters’ conference.
Tuesday, President and Sister Cornelius and the assistants to the president and I drove to Coos Bay (2 hours to the coast) for interviews. Sister Cornelius and I listened to each missionary recite a memorized scripture and then we visited with them to see how they are doing and how their families are doing.
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| Coos Bay waiting to interview with President |
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| Sisters Chaddock, Sutherland, Sterzer |
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| Elders Varty, Kynaston, Christensen, Darrington |
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| Goodies and snacks for the wait |
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| Dinner (burgers) with some of the missionaries before heading back to Eugene |
Wednesday was a big day. President Cornelius in his interviews over the last transfer came to realize that perfectionism among the sisters was causing them to stress themselves and to feel inadequate to accomplish all they required of themselves. He asked me to help with a conference to look at this problem.
We invited several speakers to address this issue. We had the Eugene stake president who is an OB/GYN physician and his wife speak and also two sisters who are counselors for Family Services. Sister Cornelius conducted the meeting and gave a welcome talk and President Cornelius concluded the meeting.
Brief overview: The speakers gave us some tools to help recognize the stress we cause ourselves by comparing ourselves to others we see as “perfect” and setting goals that are not always attainable because we can’t control the choices made by others.
They taught us ways to adjust our thinking habits and to build skills in correcting these thought patterns.
We had music and talks and a lot of comradery.
We had a welcome snack with cinnamon rolls and yogurt before the meeting and following was a delicious lunch. Sister Cornelius made chicken salad for croissant sandwiches. The Relief Society sisters in my ward came and assembled the sandwiches and plates and had them on the table ready for us to eat when we finished the meeting. It was a wonderful day. Including the senior sisters and guests, we had about 70 people in attendance.
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| Welcome snack table |
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| Tables ready and waiting. Sister Barker made and set up the centerpieces. |
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| Sisters Budge and Palmer |
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| Sister Palmer made and brought this to me. Touched my heart |
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| Sister Sutherland traditional picture when we get together |
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| “Make a funny face” she said |
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| Family Service counselors and speakers Stephanie Cleverly and Debbera Baldwin |
Wednesday evening after the conference, President and Sister Cornelius and I drove to Klamath Falls (3 + hours) where we spent the night and then started the three day interview session on Thursday.
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| Klamath Falls interview – enjoying a musical interlude |
After interviews, we drove to Medford (1 ½ hours) where we stayed for interviews on Friday and Saturday.
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| Thursday evening dinner with the assistants, Elders Kynaston and Varty at El Molecajete. |
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| I had a chili relleno. It was delicious!! |
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| While waiting for interviews, the assistants lead the missionaries in some training sessions for planning, teaching a topic, etc. |
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| Friday evening dinner at Texas Roadhouse joined the usual crowd by Elders Petersen and Robison. I had salmon- no pic. You will have to use your imagination but it was delicious also!! |
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| We drove home Saturday late afternoon in a heavy rain but it broke long enough to get a picture of the fall foliage and green pines. The contrast is gorgeous to me. I think fall might be my favorite season just because of the leaves. |
Because of the schedule, I only had two mornings to walk. I missed my daily visit and communion with nature.
Sister Cornelius and I spent the previous two weeks putting together the program and choosing the theme for the sisters’ conference. Perfectionism is not just a female thing. It is something that is hard for many of us regardless of gender. We all want to be the best we can be and we see others around us who seem to be that “perfect” person so we try harder and often feel “low” and “depressed” because we aren’t good enough. We set goals for work and family and all aspects of life and often those goals are not realistic or we fall short due to the choices and circumstances of the world around us.
Before the conference we asked the sisters to read and study a talk given by Elder Jeffery R Holland titled Be Ye Therefore Perfect—Eventually. He begins his talk:
The scriptures were written to bless and encourage us, and surely they do that. We thank heaven for every chapter and verse we have ever been given. But have you noticed that every now and then a passage will appear that reminds us we are falling a little short? For example, the Sermon on the Mount begins with soothing, gentle beatitudes, but in the verses that follow, we are told—among other things—not only not to kill but also not even to be angry. We are told not only not to commit adultery but also not even to have impure thoughts. To those who ask for it, we are to give our coat and then give our cloak also. We are to love our enemies, bless those who curse us, and do good to them who hate us.
If that is your morning scripture study, and after reading just that far you are pretty certain you are not going to get good marks on your gospel report card, then the final commandment in the chain is sure to finish the job: “Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father … in heaven is perfect.” With that concluding imperative, we want to go back to bed and pull the covers over our head. Such celestial goals seem beyond our reach. Yet surely the Lord would never give us a commandment He knew we could not keep. Let’s see where this quandary takes us.
Around the Church I hear many who struggle with this issue: “I am just not good enough.” “I fall so far short.” “I will never measure up.” I hear this from teenagers. I hear it from missionaries. I hear it from new converts. I hear it from lifelong members.
Through his speech he gives examples and helpful thoughts. He explains that Jesus Christ is the only person who could be perfect in this mortal life. He helps us to see that it is ok to be imperfect as long as we keep trying and that we do have the potential to “eventually” become perfect. I would invite you to read the talk.
He concludes:
Brothers and sisters, every one of us aspires to a more Christlike life than we often succeed in living. If we admit that honestly and are trying to improve, we are not hypocrites; we are human. May we refuse to let our own mortal follies, and the inevitable shortcomings of even the best men and women around us, make us cynical about the truths of the gospel, the truthfulness of the Church, our hope for our future, or the possibility of godliness. If we persevere, then somewhere in eternity our refinement will be finished and complete—which is the New Testament meaning of perfection.
I testify of that grand destiny, made available to us by the Atonement of the Lord Jesus Christ, who Himself continued “from grace to grace” until in His immortality He received a perfect fulness of celestial glory. I testify that in this and every hour He is, with nail-scarred hands, extending to us that same grace, holding on to us and encouraging us, refusing to let us go until we are safely home in the embrace of Heavenly Parents. For such a perfect moment, I continue to strive, however clumsily. For such a perfect gift, I continue to give thanks, however inadequately. I do so in the very name of Perfection itself, of Him who has never been clumsy or inadequate but who loves all of us who are, even the Lord Jesus Christ, amen.
We gave each sister a notebook for taking notes and on the inside cover of the notebook, we included a quote by Sister Patricia Holland.
This has been a week of blessings for me. It is a gift to feel the Spirit so close and to be with these young people who are striving to be servants of the Lord in all they do.
I love my Savior.
I love you my family and friends.
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