Ma's Place: ANTs

At this time of year after a long winter, short days and dark, gray skies, it is easy to fall into patterns of negative thinking and maybe even apathy. Negative thoughts can have a profound effect on our physical, mental, and spiritual health.

I would like to share some thoughts from a talk given by Elder Dean L. Larsen at a BYU devotional in 1976 titled Thoughts about Thoughts.

"I would like to share with you this morning some thoughts about thoughts. While serving as a mission president, I was interested in the frequency with which missionaries in our personal interviews would ask me this question: "President, how do I control my thoughts?" In that intensive environment, where a keen level of spirituality was so essential to the success of the missionaries, it didn't take long for these young men and young women to realize that a high level of spiritual power was necessary for them in order to succeed and that thoughts were very instrumental in the acquisition of that power and influence.

I've been intrigued for many years about thoughts and the compelling power of thoughts. In the children's classic The Secret Garden by Frances Hodges Burnette, Mrs. Burnette gives us these observations in children's language:

One of the new things people began to find out in the last century was that thoughts, just mere thoughts, were as powerful as electric batteries, as good for one as sunlight is, or as bad for one as poison is. To let a sad thought or a bad thought get into your mind is as dangerous as letting a scarlet fever germ get into your body. If you let it stay there after it has got in, you may never get over it so long as you live.

Thoughts have a great deal to do with how we live, whether we're enthusiastic or depressed, whether we enjoy success or experience a degree of failure, whether we enjoy spirituality or suffer from a lack of it, and in many respects, I believe, whether we are obedient or disobedient to the laws of God. Some modern behaviorists have indicated that the human thought process is very much like the operation of a computer where the conscious and subconscious mind is concerned. The input which we take into that process has much to do with the output in terms of attitude, mood, and behavior.

The Lord has recognized the great power of thoughts, and he warned those whom he addressed in his Sermon on the Mount against the influence of evil or negative thoughts. Proverbs tells us that as a man "thinketh in his heart, so is he" (Proverbs 23:7). To paraphrase that slightly, I think it would be very accurate to say that, as a man persists in his thinking, so he will become. There is that kind of power in thoughts.

I learned in the mission field, as many of you who have served missions will know, that an interesting phenomenon occurs with missionaries who are assigned to an area where immediate success may not be attached to their work. Occasionally missionaries would call me or write to me and say, "President, we have worked this area out. There is no one here we can baptize." I had to agree with what they said because, when they came to that conclusion, they indeed could not find anyone. Generally I made an immediate transfer of those missionaries from that area. It was always interesting and curious to note that those who replaced them, if their thoughts were right and if the data being fed into their computers were correct, would often go out and find great success where the others had failed.

I've learned that our moods, our attitudes toward daily living and toward each other, are in large measure regulated by our thoughts. I believe, to a large degree, I can control whether or not I am happy today or unhappy, whether I'm enthusiastic about my possibilities or depressed and negative. I've discovered, as perhaps you have, that if I allow myself to slip into a pattern of negative, depressed thinking-although my circumstances have not changed-I can make myself very unhappy and make my prospects seem extremely dim. I can reverse that almost as easily by replacing those thoughts with others that are constructive.

Let me relate another sentence or two from Mrs. Burnette's observations in this same children's classic I referred to above. She tells about a boy, Colin, who is one of the interesting characters in this story:

So long as Colin shut himself up in his room and thought only of his fears and weaknesses and his detestation of people who looked at him and reflected hourly on humps and early death, he was a hysterical, half-crazy little hypochondriac who knew nothing of the sunshine and the spring and also did not know that he could get well and stand upon his feet if he tried to do it. When new, beautiful thoughts began to push out the old, hideous ones, life began to come back and his blood ran healthfully through his veins and strength poured into him like a flood. His scientific experiment was quite practical and simple. There was nothing weird about it at all. Much more surprising things can happen to anyone who, when a disagreeable or discouraged thought comes into his mind, just has the sense to remember in time and push it out by putting in an agreeable, determinedly courageous one. Two things cannot be in one place. Where you tend a rose, my lad, a thistle cannot grow.

I've heard counsel given with regard to devices that might be used to protect us temporarily from the effects of bad thoughts or evil thoughts. I've heard the suggestion that we might sing a song, a phrase from a Latter-day Saint hymn, or recite some poetry or some verses of scripture. But this, in reality, is a defensive stance. One cannot always be on defense against evil thoughts. One must assume the offense. The best way I've learned to achieve this is to practice sustained, constructive thinking. [Bold added] That's an exercise, brothers and sisters, that requires as much training and as much conditioning as the physical endurance required to run a long-distance race. I commend to you this morning the "exercise" of sustained constructive thinking."

I shared this message with the missionaries in hopes that I might help them to recognize the importance of our thought processes. My goal as the mission nurse is to help them to be healthy physically and mentally, happy and successful in their missions. I hope that maybe some of these thoughts might help you as well.

I also sent information about ANTs. I hope that if you have ANTs (You will have to find out for yourself what ANTs refers to.) you will use this information to rid yourself of these pests. No one wants ANTs. They are destructive and can ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

AUTOMATIC NEGATIVE THINKING (ANTs)

Your thoughts matter. They can either help or hurt your deep limbic system. Left unchecked, ANTs will cause an infection in your whole body system. Whenever you notice ANTs, you need to crush them or they will affect your relationships, your work, and your life. If you can catch them at the moment they occur and correct them, you take away their power over you. When a negative thought goes unchallenged, your mind believes it and your body reacts to it.

By bringing them into the open and examining them on a conscious level, you can see for yourself how little sense it makes to think these kinds of thoughts. You can take back control of your own life instead of leaving your fate to a hyperactive limbic system…one conditioned with negative thought patterns.

To kill the ANTs or dysfunctional thinking, it is necessary to argue and challenge the thinking and choose another way of thinking. Rather than trying to change unchangeable circumstances; we must catch our negative thoughts and alter the thoughts and behaviors that are maintaining the depression, anxiety, or anger.

Three questions are helpful:

1.    What's the evidence that the thought is true? For example, consider the thought, "I'm a complete failure because I really messed up that teaching session, I will never be a good missionary! Can this be looked at objectively? What's the evidence for and against?

2.    What's another way of looking at it? For example, losing one investigator may teach you another way to teach next time and you will do a better job. We learn by our mistakes.

3.    The third question asks, so what? Even if it is true, how bad are the consequences? For example one might say, "Yes, I did mess up but I can be OK with it. I will do better next time."

These ANTs are sometimes referred to as thinking errors or cognitive distortions. It is important to identify the thinking errors or distortions. Daniel G. Amen, M.D. coined the phrase or title ANTs to identify specific errors in thinking and has listed them. There are others, but the following errors cover most of the thinking problems we face. It helps to identify them and write them down as we notice them and begin to argue with them. Like in a court room, what is the evidence for and against the thought, and what is another more positive way to look at the situation. They are as follows:

ANT #1     "ALWAYS" thinking

These ANTs occur when you over generalize a situation and think something that happened once will "always" repeat itself. For example, if your companion snaps at you, you may think, "She/he's always irritable." It activates your limbic system. Whenever you are thinking absolutes such as "always," "never," "everyone," "every time," "everything," you are engaging in negative thinking that seems to make a temporary situation a permanent reality. Here are some examples of "always" thinking:

    "He/she's always angry."
    "No one is concerned about my ideas."
    ""Everyone takes advantage of me."
    "My companions disrespect me."

ANT #2     Focusing On the Negative

These ANTs occur when you focus only on what's going wrong in a situation and ignore everything that could be construed as positive. This ANT can take a positive experience, relationship, or work interaction and taint it with negativity. In the movie Pollyanna, she goes to live with her aunt after the death of her missionary parents. Although an orphan, Pollyanna is able to help negative people with her positive attitude when she introduces them to the "glad game" that her father taught her. Pollyanna first played the "glad game" when her parents requested a doll for her from their missionary sponsors and mistakenly received crutches instead. Rather than be upset at not having a doll. Pollyanna's father taught her she could be glad because they didn't need crutches. This very simple game changed the attitudes and lives of many people in the movie. Pollyanna has a particular effect on the unhappy "hell and damnation" minister. Pollyanna tells him that her father said there were 8OO "glad passages" in the Bible and that if God mentioned being glad that many times, it must be because he wants us to think that way.

Focusing on the negative in situations will make you feel bad. Playing the glad game, or looking for the positive, will help you feel better.

ANT #3       Fortune Telling

These ANTs occur when you predict that bad or negative things will happen. Fortune-telling ANTs underlie most anxiety disorders, especially with people who have panic attacks. Predicting the worst in a situation causes an immediate rise in heart and breathing rates. Having these thoughts can make you feel tense. Fortune-telling ANTs are designated "red" because, when you predict that bad things will happen you may find yourself experiencing them. If, for example, you are driving to an appointment, and you predict that you will have a bad day, the first bad thing that happens will reinforce your belief and the rest of the day will go downhill. While it's important to be prepared for potential negative events or outcomes "over focusing" on them will damage your peace of mind and ultimately ruin your health.

ANT #4      Mind Reading

Mind-reading ANTs occur when you think you know what others are thinking even when they haven't told you. Mind reading is a common cause of trouble between people. It frequently happens in close relationships like companionships because one partner assumes he or she can read the other's mind. You can never know what others are thinking. You know you are mind reading when you have thoughts such as, "He/she doesn't like me." "They were talking about me." "They think I will never amount to much." I tell people that a negative look from someone else may be nothing more than his being constipated! You just don't know. When there are things you don't understand, ask for clarification and stay away from mind-reading ANTs, they are very infectious and cause trouble between people.

ANT #5      Thinking with your feelings

These ANTs occur when you believe your negative feelings without ever questioning them. Feelings sometimes are very complex and are often based on powerful memories from the past. Feelings sometimes lie, but many people believe their feelings, even though they have no evidence to back them up. Thoughts usually start with words like, "I feel nobody will ever trust me." whenever you have a strong negative feeling, check it out, look for the evidence behind the feeling. Do you have real reasons to feel that way? Or are your feelings based on events or things from the past?

ANT #6       Guilt Beatings

Guilt is generally not a helpful emotion, especially for your deep limbic system. In fact, guilt often causes you to do things that you don't want to do. Guilt happens when you think with works like "should," "must," 'ought," or "have to." Here are some examples: (Of course there are things that you should not do. Moral teaching is very important. Yet when the goal of teaching is to produce guilt, it is often counterproductive. Unfortunately, guilt often backfires.) Because of human nature, whenever we think that we "must" do something, no matter what it is, we don't want to do it. It is better to replace guilt beatings with phrases such as: "I want to do this…" "It fits with my goals to do that…" "It would be helpful to do this…" "I must spend more time studying." "I must organize my things."

ANT #7     Labeling

Whenever you attach a negative label to yourself or to someone else, you prevent yourself from taking a clear look at the situation. Negative labels are very harmful because whenever you call yourself or someone else a jerk or arrogant, you lump that person in your mind with all the "jerks" or "arrogant people" that you've ever known and you become unable to deal with them in a reasonable way.

ANT #8     Personalization

Personalization occurs when innocuous events are taken personally. "My companion didn't talk to me this morning. She/he must be mad at me." Or, one feels he or she is the cause of all the bad things that happen. There are many other possible reasons for behavior besides the negative interpretations of an abnormal limbic system. For example your companion may not have talked to you because she/he was preoccupied or upset, or was in a hurry. You never fully know why people do what they do. Try not to personalize their behavior.

ANT #9     (The most poisonous red ANT)   Blame:

Blame is very harmful. When you blame something or someone else for the problems in your life, you become a victim of circumstances and you can't do anything to change your situation. Many relationships are ruined by people who blame their companions or others when things go wrong. They take little responsibility for or won't admit to their problems. When something goes wrong at home or work, they try to find someone to blame. Typically, you'll hear statements from them such as:

    "It wasn't my fault that…"'
    "That wouldn't have happened if you had…"
    "It's your fault that…"

The bottom-line statement goes something like this: "If only you had done something differently, I wouldn't be in this predicament, it's your fault, and "I'm not responsible."

Whenever you blame someone else for the problems in your life, you become powerless to change anything. The "blame game" hurts your personal sense of power.

In order to keep your brain functioning at a high level, it is important to have good emotion and thought management. Whenever you notice an ANT entering your mind, train yourself to recognize it and write it down. When you write down automatic negative thoughts and talk back to them, you begin to take away their power and gain control over your moods.

*I obtained this ANTs information from our Area Mental Health Advisor, Dr James Christensen.

It has been a good week. On Monday I went in to Manhattan for an appointment with a missionary. The appointment was on the Upper East Side. I have never ridden the Q train before but on Monday because of construction, we had to take the Q train. When I got off, I was in a different world. By that, I mean the subway station was remarkable!! It was clean and sparkling. Atypical subway station.

Tile art in the 86th Street Station Q line.

Sparkling clean station.

Typical subway station.

Tuesday was temple day for some of the missionaries so I was blessed with spending a portion of the day with some wonderful sisters whose companions were at the temple.

Sisters Lee, Bush, Staker, Lyu, Steninger, Johnson

Thursday I traveled to Brooklyn to help a missionary get into Costco to purchase some glasses. If I have ever been tempted to highjack a vehicle, I found the one that day.

I would want this vehicle heavily laden as advertised
(Melanie Chocolate Collections)

You'll have to pardon my random thoughts, but as I walk in the mornings, I see so many things that catch my interest. There is a park that I like to walk through. There are always men and sometimes women there with their dogs who are off leash in the park. I can pet the dogs and get my "dog fix." I love dogs!!

I have noticed how many spiny seed pods litter the ground. Last year I mentioned these pods in a blog. In fact I have a vase full of them on my shelf. I asked the men if they knew what the trees are that produce these pods. I was told that they are Lingdonberry trees. The kids call the pods "itchy balls" and they use them as weapons to throw at one another.

I didn't think these were "lingdonberry trees" because I think that lingdonberries grow on a bush. so I researched it on the web. The trees in the park are sweetgum trees.

American SweetgumLiquidambar styraciflua

There are numerous train and street underpasses in the area. One morning I walked a different way than I had been before and passed under an overpass that had wood between the trusses. At first I didn't realize the purpose until I saw that there were no pigeons above me and no droppings on the sidewalk. (Walking under the pigeons can be hazardous to your hair and clothing. Missionaries like to tell about the time a missionary got pooped on.)

I passed a stone/rock wall this morning. Kay must have been with me because it brought to mind a poem by Robert Frost, one of Kay's most read poets. He so enjoyed the poetry of Robert Frost and Mending Wall was one of his favorites.

Mending Wall

By Robert Frost

Something there is that doesn't love a wall,

That sends the frozen-ground-swell under it,

And spills the upper boulders in the sun;

And makes gaps even two can pass abreast.

The work of hunters is another thing:

I have come after them and made repair

Where they have left not one stone on a stone,

But they would have the rabbit out of hiding,

To please the yelping dogs. The gaps I mean,

No one has seen them made or heard them made,

But at spring mending-time we find them there.

I let my neighbour know beyond the hill;

And on a day we meet to walk the line

And set the wall between us once again.

We keep the wall between us as we go.

To each the boulders that have fallen to each.

And some are loaves and some so nearly balls

We have to use a spell to make them balance:

"Stay where you are until our backs are turned!"

We wear our fingers rough with handling them.

Oh, just another kind of out-door game,

One on a side. It comes to little more:

There where it is we do not need the wall:

He is all pine and I am apple orchard.

My apple trees will never get across

And eat the cones under his pines, I tell him.

He only says, "Good fences make good neighbours."

Spring is the mischief in me, and I wonder

If I could put a notion in his head:

"Why do they make good neighbours? Isn't it

Where there are cows? But here there are no cows.

Before I built a wall I'd ask to know

What I was walling in or walling out,

And to whom I was like to give offence.

Something there is that doesn't love a wall,

That wants it down." I could say "Elves" to him,

But it's not elves exactly, and I'd rather

He said it for himself. I see him there

Bringing a stone grasped firmly by the top

In each hand, like an old-stone savage armed.

He moves in darkness as it seems to me,

Not of woods only and the shade of trees.

He will not go behind his father's saying,

And he likes having thought of it so well

He says again, "Good fences make good neighbours."

I've rather rambled this week. It has been busy as usual. A few viral cases still popping up, (Stomach and colds) and other various conditions. I am blessed beyond measure and truly value the opportunities I am enjoying here.

I love you my family and friends.